Let me preface by first saying I like The History Channel. At least that is to say, I did like The History Channel before they completely ran out of history stuff to talk about.

Following in the tradition of the Cartoon Network no longer exclusively showing cartoons, The History Channel will, at 8pm on April 7th 2007, have completely run out history. That's it - game over, man. Game over.

Granted, some purists may say that the channel ran out of steam back in 1994 with the premiere of Modern Marvels, however airing the complete original version of the 1968 classic Planet of the Apes starring Charlton Heston, is a definitive place to point our fingers and say "Ah-ha! It was just a matter of time before you guys started winging it!"

While Planet of the Apes drew parallels to race relations of its day and spawned countless imitations in modern popular culture, with no accompanying program or commentary acknowledging these achievements, the contents of the film itself have nothing to do with the history of anything.

Cartoon fans will recall November of 2005 when Cartoon Network aired its first programming that had absolutely nothing to do with a cartoon or animation: Disney's Honey I Shrunk the Kids. This eventually led to entire live action series being aired in the [adult swim] block. This, of course, led [adult swim] to rename itself [crappy 1980s live action tv show network].

MTV led the pack by pioneering music television, only to completely destroy (at an exponential rate, mind you) their programming with pointless drivel like Next and Date My Mom. Thanks for nothing, Kallisa Miller and Hilary Duff.

The question I pose to you the reader is simply this: Which channel is next?